What is the best way to hookup with a roommate’s girlfriend as roommates in a dorm, and start a campus fight?

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Answered by: David A, An Expert in the Life On Campus Category
The James Dorm Horror

I once met a murderer from Stony Brook, I really shouldn’t tell, but we were roommates. I once told him I had a drug dealer from back home, and he told me, that he could supply me. I told him that the guy wouldn’t let go, and I didn’t ever hear from the guy from back home again. I once lost a computer, a nice Sony laptop too, but I did graduate from Stony Brook. I would bleed for it.



There are some horror stories that are true, and there are some that are fairytales. This one may only be a fairytale.

There are always stories of some kid from Long Island who applied to Stony Brook, and moved in to the dorms, said no to commuting, and may, or may not have lived to tell about it.

The poor kid from the south shore of Long Island, Suffolk County is one of the stories that people do tell. Those people who attend, and those people who graduate…and those people who only grown up on Long Island.



He didn’t have much money, but graduated his high school towards the top of his class, and wanted to make good, and thought going to Stony Brook would be a good idea, and really good for his image on Long Island. The poor Long Island kid, from the south shore of Suffolk County, who made good. The one who grew up hanging out at South Beach…if you know Long Island, you know there are beaches on the north, where you might hang out at as kids, and there are beaches on the south shore, where parents take their kids. Sabrina rules still apply, and in the current environment, Gossip Girl, and the divorcees remarrying, and buying the house in the Hamptons, is the new rule. It was their wish, and today’s kids have a better chance of avoiding the divorce, for what they did go through. A lesson for the Junior Hamptonites of tomorrow. The union workers are still at the bottom, and their kids have a shot, if they remember.

The poor kid, Steven, Steve-o as they called him, in a joking reference to the famous Jack-ass star, was a union man’s kid, and thought he could just move up. To him, society owed him, even if he hadn’t paid his dues. He got in to Stony Brook, and had graduated near the top of his high school class.

Steven figured when he got in to Stony Brook, and was picking what dorm to live in, he’d pick the coolest, and toughest. The legendary James Dorm. Supposedly a guy smoked a little weed there one night, and created something even beyond 3-D computer codes. Something that would revolutionize Stony Brook, and the computer industry. It was, and always would be the second coming of Harvard, and Princeton…no person on earth could stop the school, or its students.

So when Steven filled in the little circle, to signify his decision to live in the James Dorm, he thought his future was all planned out, he could handle it. He forgot, the one rule, class still rules, even if you don’t think about it. There are upper class black people that you do have to respect, the same as upper class white. They have baseball bats. He was like the dumb little kid from Kalamazoo, who thought he could be a great, legendary guitarist, and wanted to forget that he didn’t have Derek Jeter’s class. There are people, even in Kalamazoo, who do remind.

Steven moved in, on the first day of the fall. A new student, like everyone else. Thinking he had a right to own the place, like everyone else, but forgetting that if he didn’t give up Long Island, then he wasn’t. He was a townie. The scariest thing in the world, and especially Stony Brook, and the scary James Dorm.

The front doors had a guard, with a list of new students. Returning students would be there, later in the week. Steven said his name, and the guard gave him a sticker name tag, and crossed his name off.

His room was downstairs, and he took the stairs down, dragging his luggage with him. He hadn’t ever gone on a real vacation, but used them to go on a trip to upstate NY once. The woods, were a different environment, and seeing the world to him, but they weren’t the “woods” that some groups talk about. Not only a different environment, but a scarier one too, where you don’t know the society, and didn’t ever grow up, learning about it. Something cultures say, and why you learn history in school, from elementary school on. Steven thought he understood, he knew the south shore of Long Island, and every society was the same in some way to him. He forgot the same thing that some girls forget who go to college at basketball, and football schools. Religious services are in stadiums, and the win comes first, if prayer helps, cool, but whatever helps is the important thing. Word is win.

If the other team loses, it’s their problem for playing. It isn’t some church choir, its college sports. Pride. In your school, your team, when people smoke tobacco, it doesn’t mean they’re smoking nicotine cigarettes, they can cause cancer, tobacco is a hallucinogenic…Steven didn’t think that. That was his problem. Word. The explanation. America is like Steven doesn’t understand, America dies. America’s like Steven. Aruba isn’t a right; it’s a privilege, like Stony Brook was. The same as women’s rights, ethnicities, race, and religion are. America is a privilege, and Steven didn’t believe that. He thought he was owed.

Steven was still a townie, and a poor kid from the south shore, he wasn’t like someone’s kid, who left L.I., and found Stony Brook. He didn’t understand cleaning shoes, and cheerleaders…

He didn’t understand being an All-American, he wanted to be. Anything anyone said didn’t matter.

He walked in to his room, and took the first glance of his roommate Tyson. Tall, big, muscles, a football player, and above all else to Steven, black, or as other people said, African-American. he was talking to a friend, who said, later”, I’ll see you later tonight,” and left.

Steven walked over to Tyson, and shook his hand, he looked at African-Americans the same, even if he lied”, he was American.” Until he hooked up with Tyson’s girlfriend, and started a campus fight, and paid for it. Tyson was a football player. Tyson had the “ins” before Steven even walked in. Tyson and Steven were roommates in a dorm.

At Stony Brook, there are a group of Muslim students who pray together at a mosque on campus. They don’t try to enforce (“Bad Boys,” as Tyson used to call it, wasn’t everyone’s favorite game, but they did have to play, once in a while) their religion on others. A Hasidic Jewish group started the same thing once, and wanted to build a temple on campus. They started preaching Judaism on campus though, and the temple was never built. Steven was like those Hasidic Jews.

Steven was a business major, and thought he could create his one great idea as people call it, while he was earning his degree. He didn’t think he would need a Masters, or a mentor, he understood everything about business…except for Tyson.

It’s all true, Steven was the Jew, the Christian, the liar who would say anything, like Richard and Phoebe’s kids who were like Sparks’ pets, and did anything that was in a Sparks' novels, and died falling off a Ferris wheel.

Tyson always told Steven there was one rule, you don’t fuck with someone’s girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend, it’s about class. Steven didn’t want to listen, even if he said he did….and when his girlfriend was Seawolved…he learned. Stony Brook can be a horror film, before you graduate…even if it can also be a sunny day at the beach. Remember the rules, and it doesn’t turn in to a horror film.

Steven is the example, even if people don’t like talking about what happened.

Tyson and his friends though black, and had some white friends, always said,” with a handshake.” Steven did, but he still thought, he kind of is black. He liked to look and say they have their group, but say respect mine, even if I don’t respect yours.

The second he said respect, he became. It’s horror, even for a Sabrina Hamptonite.

The dorm and the campus were and always will be governed by Stony Brook, and SUNY, but have to comply with U.S. police, and government, even though they make their own laws, and can change the laws. A student isn’t guaranteed to be kicked out of school for rape, but they do have to notify the police, and they can act, and Stony Brook can act differently, if they screw a student, they can destroy the world…and when Steven finally did, and Tyson found out, and it began to rain, and the skies opened up.

The circus James was known as; Steven did try to become a part of, and tried to become friends with everyone he could, especially Tyson, so his image would be good.

Tyson would still sign his pro contract, a NFL football player, and marry his girlfriend. He would destroy Steven, and hook up with another girl first.

A star does play by the rules.

Steven walked in one day, Tyson was studying. He walked in, said hi as usual, and then sat on his bed. He pulled out his book of freshman face, and then realized Tyson had a girlfriend in it, but didn’t mention his realization. Hooking up with her didn’t occur to him at first, and he didn’t think they’d really screw him if he did something like that.

He started hanging out with Tyson and his girlfriend, smoking in their dorm room. Relaxing at night, after class was all over. They were private smoke buddies. Outside, they had their own groups.

Everything was good until one day, Steven looked at Barbara, and thought and it would be fun to hookup with her while he was stoned.

Then Steven ran in to her at the cafeteria, and they started talking. He knew it could destroy any friendship he had with Tyson, and shouldn’t flirt, but he decided to.

Friends who become friends are one thing, but when you hit on someone’s girlfriend, at least in Tyson, and most of Stony Brook, in public, it’s something else. When you put in a distinction, you’re fine, if you take it out, like Steven did, you can get in trouble, that’s the way they looked at it.

So when Steven started talking to Barbara, he didn’t think there was any problem, because he didn’t care, but one of Tyson’s friends saw them, and looked at it different, because he knew Steven.

Tyson was sitting in his dorm room, when his friend walked in and told him about what he saw, and that he should be worried, because they both knew Steven. Tyson didn’t believe him, but his friend told him to check it out, and keep an eye on them.

So when Tyson did it, to prove something, he opened Barbara’s dorm room, and found Barbara spread out on her bed and Steven on top riding her, he walked over and punched him in the face, and walked out.

Steven walked back in to his dorm room, and Tyson walked out. Tyson and Steven were roommates in a dorm.

2 big football players walked in, and closed the door. Tyson had already talked to his team. That was Seawolving.

That is the horror story that they tell, the lesson they try to teach. South shore kids aren’t always the smartest at Stony Brook University.

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