How can a guy successfully date in college?

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Answered by: Jesse, An Expert in the The Dating Game Category
So you've just entered college, and everything is overwhelming; you don't know anyone, you got lost three times trying to find the dining center and you accidentally walked in on the Dean in his private bathroom, thinking that it was the library. You start to wonder to yourself, "Could it get any worse?" As you're walking along thee garden towards your residence building, ready to call it a day and see if any of your flatmates would like to party, you see this amazing girl, stuff of your dreams: long auburn hair, twinkling hazel eyes, a soft smile as if nothing in this world could go wrong, and a body of a model. You know you have to talk to her, and mustering up your courage, you walk over and say "H-h-hi, I sa-saw you from across the garden and t-thought you were really pretty, wi-will you go out with me?" Oh no, what just happened? You totally let your lack of confidence show, and subsequently allowed this dream girl to know that you're not worth her time. As expected, she looks at you with a face of disgust, and without saying a word, walks away. You feel like your world has crumbled, and you rush home to find a hole to cry in. So, how does one successfully date in college, especially if you think you're just an average guy that no one pretty would like?

First of all, you need to throw out all you've read or learned previously, and pay attention to this one, magical word: confidence. You need it. It's a cliched topic, and you'll probably hear lots of people talking about it, or trying to teach you how to gain confidence. Throw it all out the window, this article is what you're looking for. With confidence, you can pretty much do whatever you want, from securing yourself a date for the night all the way to bypassing security at Microsoft. You might then say, "Jesse, I know this already, but man you've got to teach me how to get it!" It's really simple to be honest, my method is the fake it until you make it; no, not by telling people lies about how you fought Mike Tyson and won. How do you "fake" confidence? Well, first of all, you're going to have to accept yourself, your body, your looks, your achievements. You got into college, I'm sure you're already an individual who has had a few achievements over the years and you're probably pretty smart or sporty. Don't tell yourself that you can't do it, or the girl is out of your league, chances are, you're probably better than her! The first step towards confidence is self-acceptance. If you won't accept yourself and believe in yourself, who's going to believe in you? So, as a quick exercise, think of three or four things you're proud of, and then keep telling yourself that those few things are amazing and everyone would be proud of them. Next time you see a girl and you feel like crawling in a hole and hiding, think of your own achievements and tell yourself that anyone would be proud to date you. It's all in your mind buddy. The second step is your posture. If you're reading this, chances are you're slightly hunched over. No, no and no, that will not do at all! You need to have a straight back, with your head held high. No, not overly cocky, but just slightly raised, like everyone else should respect you. Walk around at home like this, and practice it. Throw your chest out, and put a little smile on your face. When you're walking, don't look at the ground, look straight forward, or if you feel extra brave, look at every passerby in the eye briefly. Even if you feel like you're the smallest shrimp on campus, if you have good posture, no one else will think that you're the loser no one wants to date!

However, confidence will only get you so far. After you've approached the girl and convinced yourself that she'd love to date you, you'll need to actually prove it, and here is where most people once again fail. "What do I talk about?" is a question frequently asked, and to be honest, there is no "correct" answer. My tip is to talk about absolutely everything, because as long as you show that you're passionate about something, be it origami or hunting, and you include the other person in your conversation so you're not just droning on and on, they'll slowly become interested and passionate about the same topic as well!

For example, I am a huge soccer and formula 1 fan, and not many girls around me enjoy these same topics. However, I just go with it, and tell them games and races that have occured the past week. Remember though, DO NOT keep talking about yourself, let the other person have a chance! Ask them if they've done origami before, or ask them what they are passionate about, and try to pay attention and include yourself in their hobbies as well. Yes, talking about anime and video games is ok, as long as you don't become the nerd that keeps going about the marine split you did against a Diamond League Korean and forget to give the person some breathing space and time to talk about themselves as well.

Finally, assuming that you got yourself some confidence by practicing and convincing yourself that you're stellar and conversation is going great with the girl, it's time to take it to the next level: getting her number. It's simple really, I almost always go for something like this: "Hey, it's great getting to know you, but I've got to run to class now, give me your number and we'll chat more later". YOU should cut off the conversation so it seems like you're the busier one and it shows confidence, and don't make getting her number a big deal, it's just the beginning.

This article only covers the beginning of how to successfully date in college, so if you'd like to learn more, please subscribe here! Next week I'll be going into how the texting game works, and the all-important question of how to ask someone out!

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